Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Two Thousand And Grime..

2009 has certainly been a half-decent nail in the coffin of "the noughties". You can't fuck with this many good releases.. Why do I get the feeling 2010 is gonna be a stream of piss in just about every way possible?

30 Of The Best

(It's impossible to put this many records in order of preference but the first five are probably right.. Besides I've always been a list-making nerd)

1. Cult Ritual - LP1
2. Raekwon - OB4CLII
3. Propagandhi - Supporting Caste
4. Former Ghosts - Fleurs
5. Punch - Self Titled
6. Method Man And Redman - Blackout II
7. Social Circkle - City Shock
8. Pulling Teeth - Paranoid Delusions
9. Fabolous - Loso's Way
10. Double Dagger - More

11. M.O.P - Foundation
12. Dinosaur Jr - Farm
13. The Rival Mob - Raw Life
14. Pianos Become The Teeth - Old Pride
15. Harm's Way - Reality Approaches
16. Black Diamond Heavies - A Touch Of Someone Else's Class
17. Dear Landlord - Dream Homes
18. The XX - XX
19. Arctic Monkeys - Humbug
20. Pissed Jeans - King Of Jeans

21. The Shitty Limits - Beware The Limits
22. Stupid Party - LP
23. Joe Budden - Padded Room
24. Gun Outfit - Dim Light
25. Marco Polo And Torae - Double Barrel
26. Rise And Fall - Our Circle Is Vicious
27. Buried Inside - Spoils Of Failure
28. Peste Noire - Ballad Cuntre Lo Anemi Francor
29. Manic Street Preachers - Journal For Plague Lovers
30. The Wooden Sky - If I Don't Come Home You'll Know I'm Gone

I haven't properly listened to the Cloak/Dagger, Hunches or Sonic Youth records yet but they'd probably end up in there somewhere as well.


1. Bonestorm - Self Titled EP
2. Cherbourg - Into The Dark
3. Bon Iver - Blood Bank EP
4. Merchandise - Terminal Jagger Jane's Addiction Boxset
5. Debaser - Rich White Boys
6. Raw Nerve - Teens In Heat
7. Black Teeth - Ghost Town Anthems

Can't think of what else came out this year.


Both the Nomos and Nazi Dust demos killed it.


I really didn't rate the new Slaughterhouse at all.. Fucking letdown. Didn't even bother with the new Kid Harpoon after hearing that terrible single. The new Blacklisted was fucking weird - becoming a grunge band doesn't work at all, though I thought the first track was a banger. Everyone was ranting about the new Royce but I checked it and thought it was wickety-wack.. which means it is.



I can't believe I just typed all that - I'm a loser..

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Christmas Choons..

It's December the 1st, which means there are only 24 more days 'til Christmas dinner..
I for one can't wait to eat my body weight in mince pies and generally act like a drunken dickhead in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Here's my absolutely untouchable top ten six Christmas tunes (really had to scrape the barrel with this awful list):

1. The Pogues And Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale Of New York

Not just the best Christmas tune but one of the best songs of all time.
"I could've been someone..." Brixton Academy on the 19th will be emotional.

2. Tom Waits - Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis

I would sell my family to the Bosnian mafia to see this live.

3. Fear - Fuck Christmas

Just to get you in the festive spirit.

4. Murder City Devils - 364 Days

"An open letter to St Nicholas.."

5. Blink-182 - I Won't Be Home For Christmas

You're lying if you say this doesn't warm the soul of your inner 14-year old self.

6. The Walkmen - No Christmas While I'm Talking

Not the best Walkmen tune but..

Tuesday, 17 November 2009


To be honest, I'm quite surprised I even bothered to check this record out. On paper, it looks like the epitome of hipster bullshit: a "supergroup" comprised of Freddy Ruppert (This Song Is A Mess But So Am I), Jamie Stewart (Xiu Xiu) and Nika Roza (Zola Jesus). To make as lazy a comparison as possible, Former Ghosts sound like Ian Curtis fronting a darkwave band with indie glitchtronica/noise bits thrown in here and there. I'm not gonna front like I know much about the current state of this genre, but this is definitely good music for walking to the shop to on those cold winter nights when you need another bottle of cheap vodka . This is the record Eisold wish he had made instead of that boring Cold Cave nonsense.

Here's a link I found on Google:

10 pounds from:

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Taylor Swift = Nazi Sympathiser..

Apparently Kanye West turned her to drunken orgies with race hating hipsters.

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

BET Cipher.

Eminem absolutely killed the BET cipher this year. He was recently quoted in an interview as saying that Relapse 2 is going to be more like his old style - Please, please, please, please don't fuck it up with your shitty helium/Asian cab driver voice you ugly, white trash weirdo.

Mos Def's bars ain't too shabby either..

Hove Home Trashed By Party Gatecrashers.

From an Argus article found here

Hove home trashed by party gatecrashers

11:04am Wednesday 28th October 2009

A house was trashed by gatecrashers after a private party was advertised on the internet.

Kimi Watkiss won a competition to have her favourite band Brighton-based Doll And The Kicks play at her house.

But her elation soon turned into a nightmare as the private gig was stormed by more than 100 uninvited guests.

Pictures given to The Argus show revellers halfnaked in the family's hot tub, kicking computer monitors and having fights with armchairs.

The group of intruders described as 'half of Brighton' caused thousands of pounds of damage to the Hove property.

Used condoms on the floor, shattered glass, a cracked plasma television and a smashed sound system were found the next morning.

News of the secret gig at the Hove property is believed to have broken out through social networking site Facebook.

Revellers have been boasting about the party on the internet.

Kimi's brother Dane, 23, said he came home from university in London at the weekend to see a skip outside the house.

The band, currently touring with Morrissey, have said the family do not blame them for the damage.

They gave Kimi's parents a free pair of tickets for their concert at the Royal Albert Hall in London last night as an apology.

Lead singer Hannah told The Argus: "Unfortunately there were a lot of uninvited guests.

"While obviously we're pleased that so many people wanted to come to see us play, it did get very out of hand and the property had some extensive damage.

"We've been sorting things out with Kimi's parents for the past few days and have promised to repair or replace damaged goods as a goodwill gesture even though they have made it clear they understand we're not to blame."

That's some really quality reporting guys but I think my friends at SmackThat! did a slightly better job.

Sounds like one fun "nightmare".

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Get Educated.

Today I have learnt:

- Coca Cola didn't make Santa red.
- Carrots do not make your vision better.
- Goldschlager does not cut your throat with little gold pieces.
- Red Bull doesn't have bull's testicle juice in it.
- Mariah Carey didn't say she wanted to look like starving African kids (Shame, I like that one).
- Refried beans are not beans that have been fried more than once.
- We do not only use 10% of our brains.

I still haven't got to the bottom of whether Lady Gaga is a tranny though. I did find this interesting collection of musings and thoughts on the subject.

This pretty much sums up the comments:

miles says:
megan fox is bisexual and shes still hot.

Maybe I should get a job.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Sunday, 25 October 2009

Into The Mouth Of Madness.

Sex Dungeon.

I basically know fuck all about this band, as Googling "sex dungeon hardcore" comes up with some pretty dirty shit. It's noisy, thrashy hardcore/punk/powerviolence with production values from the bowels of hell and song lengths shorter than a fly's penis.. Download their piece of shit demo here. Or don't.


Why the FUCK do I not live in America?

I mean seriously, look at this fucking line-up..

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

My Car Go.. Chicago..

Every weekend I pick up some cargo..

Monday, 19 October 2009


Just give up music and marry me. Please.

Monday, 7 September 2009

Blast From The Past.

Christ, this brings back some memories. I spent a substantial summer of my youth here; smoking weed, throwing up shitty tags and engaging in petty vandalism. The Pullman Shed AKA "The Dead Shed" housed some absolutely ancient trains and some classic pieces from the likes of AROE, JERK, DEAN and other such legends. Plus, who could forget the river of rotten slime and the ceiling windows that threatened to collapse at any minute? This video almost makes me a little teary eyed.

Friday, 28 August 2009

Invitation To A Beheading.. And Then Some.

My cat found a mouse today. I was pleased the old dear still had it in her so I let her get on with her business. Besides, I needed some new photos for my Flickr.

It's funny watching an animal get into it with so much relish - most people today are too fucking pussy to even think about where meat comes from, let alone get messy with some dead stuff.

She didn't leave a morsel. Bless her.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

House Of Flying Daggers

I'm speechless.

Spot The Difference.

Well done Microsoft. I'm sure Poland appreciates ethnic cleansing in your advertising.

Monday, 10 August 2009

Efectos Vocales..

Nach Scratch is a fucking beast..

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Scum Fuc.

I guess to all you hippies this is just another one of God's beautiful creatures.

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Slug Maze.

Vile creatures.

Monday, 6 July 2009

Two Shots From A Loaded Clip.

Rowdy shit. Listen to those fucking cuts.

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Haymaker Bringing The Ruckus.

Fireworks, destruction and disgruntled police. Punk as fuck.

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Funny T-Shirts. Part 1.

You know the type of idiot that wears one of these abominations.

The kind of person that bores you to death listing every drink they drank last night. The kind of person that will waste 10 minutes of their life trying to make buying "really po weed" off their small-time dealer mate an interesting story. The kind of person that asks you if you've heard Caspa and Rusko's Cockney Thug and then tries to play it to you through one of their headphones when you've just told them to fuck off.

I seriously hope you die of cirrhosis you ugly student.

Stop pretending that you're interesting when the worst thing you'll do tonight is drink Fosters and take back a joke you made about someone's mum.

Come near me and i'll kick you in the cunt.

Let's be honest. You probably get laid even less than me.

No I don't want to read about your MDMA experience on Erowid.


So what's fucking with Blackout 2?

The new "Wu-Tang" album is a shambolic half-arsed Rza wankfest that makes 8 Diagrams look like the Purple Tape. No Method Man? No GZA? Get the fuck out.

Talking of tapes that are purple, DJ Decko and Lazy K have knocked out a pretty dope Raekwon mix as of recent. I guess it will do while we pretend that his album's actually gonna come out (It's just been pushed back.. Again).

Will everyone stop going on about Relapse? Eminem hasn't been good for nearly 10 years now and nothing's going to change that. I'm not gonna front like his flow hasn't marginally improved but when you're pushing 40 and purposefully making your voice sound like a prepubescent on helium, maybe you should stick to making beats for weed carriers like Trick Trick and Ca$his.

Novel's got a catchy new tune with Joell and Papoose and it's a banger for sure. Ortiz does his usual thing and Pap sounds like he's back to his old style somewhat, though he could've switched up the flow a bit (reminds me of new school Kool G Rap or something). Novel throws in a bit of R&B cheese and I ain't complaining..

Late Nights. Early Graves.

Hello mongoloids.
So I made another fucking blog. I ain't promising this won't be worst than the last pile of shit that vacated my cyberbowels (see Raised At Gunpoint.)

Don't sleep though.. You might learn something.